A letter to a NICU mom…

You probably weren’t expecting to be here, or to be reading this. You were hoping for an easy delivery, perfectly healthy baby, and to be home enjoying your new life, but that’s not what happened. Most likely you’re feeling overwhelmed with all the doctor talk, crazy emotional looking at your small, beautiful baby, and not being able to process all the thoughts going on in your head. Well, having been there myself, I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone.

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I want you to know that everything you are feeling is okay. I want you to know that all the ups and downs are okay. I want you to know that you’re doing the best you can, and that is enough. Every day is a roller coaster in the NICU, and roller coasters come with many emotions. Let yourself feel all of them. Don’t try to bottle yourself up, let yourself feel everything.

I want you to know that its okay to ask questions, and lots of them. If you don’t understand something that is happening, ask a question. When you feel concerned about something, ask a question. When you are nervous about something, ask a question. That is your baby and you have the right to know every detail about what is going on.

I want you to know that you will get through this. That this season in life will not last forever. You are strong enough, brave enough, and loved enough to get through this. Everything about being in the NICU is hard. I don’t think that there is ever a day that isn’t hard, but you can do it. You can get through to the other side.

I want you to know that your child is loved. Your sweet baby was created in the perfect image of God. Your baby is cared for. Not only by the doctors and nurses, but by his Creator. Your child is in the perfect hands of God. Being cared for perfectly. I want you to know that YOU are loved. The Lord hears your cries and knows your heart and is holding you so tightly. He knows your sorrows and your struggles. He hears you. He loves you. He is there for you, always.

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Write everything down. Keep a journal with you in the room and write in it every day. When you get out of this season, you’ll be able to look at that journal and see how far you, and your baby, have come. You’ll want to remember the nurses and doctors that you loved, the good days, the exciting milestones, all of it. I love looking back at the journal kept during that time. It brings me joy to be able to finally look at is as a part of the past, and thankful for how far we’ve come.

And take pictures! It’s so special to see my boy when he was so small. I still get emotional every time I see a picture of him so small and helpless, but I love looking at them.

I’m sorry your sweet baby is in the NICU. It’s so hard to be there, I know. But you are not alone. If you want to know what you should bring to the nicu, check out my list of what to have at the nicu here.

I’d love to keep your baby on my prayer list. Leave a comment below or email me privately at jamie@theflowersfade.com

Are you a NICU mama? Leave your encouragement down below

Love y’all

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“The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of the Lord stands forever.” Isaiah 40:8

 

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13 Comments

  1. Brandi
    November 5, 2016 / 7:16 AM

    Great letter, full of things I needed to hear. My son Owen was a 33 weeker two weeks ago. He was on CPap for 5 days after birth. I wasnt able to see his face until he was 5 days old. We are still in the NICU as he learns to eat from a bottle and nurse. The doctors and nurses have told me this is the longest process. I realize 33 weeks is lucky compared to many other babies in the NICU but that doesn’t make our emotions any less easy to digest. A lot of my friends who’ve never been through this have reminded me how lucky we are, at least he was a good weight, at least he’s breathing on his own now. But I still have to drive 40 minutes to see and hold my baby who’s supposed to still be in my uterus. I wake up to pump several times a night and wash pump parts a million times a day it seems. My boobs are sore, my heart is sad and if I hear at least one more time I’m going to scream. This letter was perfect, thank you.

    • November 5, 2016 / 7:29 AM

      Wow, I am so sorry you have to go through this whole process. Everything about it is exhausting. I’m glad this was able to give you some encouragement. That’s great that he is breathing on his own! It took my guy a long time to get to that point. The eating is the longest process but soon he will learn and you’ll be out of there! I will be praying for you and Owen! I hope he gets to come home with you so soon!
      Jamie

  2. Alyssa
    December 4, 2016 / 4:40 PM

    My son was born at 36 weeks exactly via c section & he had surgery the next day.. I only got to kiss his face right after he was born, I didn’t get to hold him & I’ve only heard him cry once… he’s in the nicu right now.. they are giving him nutrients through a tube and he is on a ventilator which is helping him breath.. he is not able to eat, so he is pretty skinny… I am not able to hold him because of the ventilator tube in his mouth.. I have prayed and prayed I need him to get better.. I want to be able to hold him and feed him 😔🙏🏻

    • December 4, 2016 / 4:55 PM

      Oh Alyssa, my heart goes out to you. It is so hard to watch your baby in the NICU and not be able to hold him. I’ve been there and my heart hurts for you. I want to encourage you that things will get better. He will get stronger. He will get bigger. Soon you will hold his sweet body and kiss his sweet face. Today we celebrated my boys first birthday! He will turn one on the sixth. It’s crazy to see pictures of him when he was in the NICU, you would never know that know. He is big, strong, smart, and thriving! I will be praying for you. Please keep me updated with how I can specifically pray for He and you. Much love, Jamie

  3. Leah
    December 15, 2016 / 7:38 PM

    Thank you for this… I too have good days and bad, today was a breakdown day. I am thankful we made it to 35 weeks and we are just trying to get our little man to eat. But Lord knows my heart aches to have him home, but the Lord also knows what I don’t know. Again thank you for sharing this letter, I needed the boost.

    • December 15, 2016 / 9:11 PM

      I’m so glad this gave you a boost of encouragement! Days are so long and draining. I know it, I remember it so clearly. I will be praying that he starts to eat soon! I know how frustrating it can be. You are doing GREAT. Keep being there, keep trying, and he’ll be home soon. Blessings to you!

  4. Mandy
    January 26, 2017 / 2:56 PM

    My son will turn 11 in just a couple of days. What most who meet him now would never know is that he was born so early, and was so very little. He was born at 24 weeks and was in the NICU for 4 1/2 months. For all the parents with babies in in the NICU, please know that things will get better. This letter is so true, and should be shared with every parent with a child in the NICU. You are not alone, and you will get through this season of your life.

  5. Megan
    February 8, 2017 / 4:54 PM

    My daughter was born Jan 24th at 34 weeks weighing just over four pounds. She dropped under four but is back up to 4.4 now. We are currently in Japan and since the base we are at does not have a nicu I actually had to have her via emergency c section at a Japanese hospital about 45 mins away. She is still in the nicu and the base doctors think we have about two weeks left. We are so lucky she has always been breathing on her on and finally got her feeding tube out. She is just a lazy eater and needs to gain more weight so we can take her home. It sure is hard to only see her once a day and to try and balance visiting her while finding somewhere for our four year old since she can not go to see baby girl. The language barrier can get frustrating but the nurses are all amazing from what I can tell and let us know her weight every day. Hoping it won’t be two more weeks but prepared for it just in case. Can’t believe she is two weeks old already. Love this post of yours.

    • February 10, 2017 / 8:17 PM

      I will be praying for you! Its so hard to be patient while they learn how to eat. It can be such a slow process, but she will get the hang of it quickly! You’ll be home in no time. How amazing that she didn’t need any help breathing. What a blessing!

  6. Jessy
    August 20, 2017 / 6:13 PM

    First time mom & dad to Baby Locryn born at 30 weeks 2 days. No medical complications except too early. I thank the stars my ob gave me the shots for his lung development.
    I needed this letter and your packing list more than my words can say. Thank you! Unfortunately, I have to stay at alternative housing across from his hospital but we’re making it work. Thanks again!

    • August 30, 2017 / 6:39 PM

      I am so sorry you’re going through this! Thank God for the modern medicine to help these little ones out. At least your close to him, I’ll be praying for you and him!

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